Goodbye Grandpa Yu

Dear Grandpa Yu,

On November 2, 2017, my grandfather from my mother’s side had passed away.  Coincidentally, it was also on a Mexican holiday known as The Day of The Dead.  Grandpa, with your passing, I realized now more than ever that I need to just grow up.  I am disappointed in myself that I have not achieved enough, to my high standards.  I have spent days wasting my time away doing nothing.  Nothing productive, I just wasted my precious time and life away.  When I was younger, you were the only person that really accepted me and gave me love unconditionally.  Whenever I was being yelled at by my mom, you were there to always have a smile and cheer me up.  You were the first parental figure in my life.  You were there, before my mother and father.  You took care of me when they were all busying trying to jump-start their business.  And for that, I love you.  With your passing, my biggest regret was not spending time and talking to you more over the phone.  Whenever my mom would call you, I would cry to myself thinking how much I missed you.  You were the most awesome man I ever met and I really mean that.

Love you Forever,

Michael Yu

It was a sad and life changing day.  The person that I considered my “second mother” had just passed away to Alzheimer.  I remember the times you were always there for me and made me happy.  You loved me no matter what mischief I caused.

You were respected by your peers and lived an honorable doctor life.  I remember being around you and everyone had respect for me because I was your grandson.  You loved your job so much that you took care of your patients for free after retirement.  Nothing gave you more purpose and joy than to help others.  You didn’t do it for the money. You did it because it fulfilled your life purpose and that was it.

I remember being a very little kid and you making me feel like the most important person in the world.  I used to get into toy fights with my friends and you would be my biggest cheerleader.  Whenever my toy got destroyed in a fight, you would buy me a newer and stronger one.

I remember when you took me with you on your bicycle.  It was a very old bicycle but it worked.  I remember when I made a comment asking why you were peddling much slower and everyone was passing us.  You told me that they were going to stop at the red light anyway and we would eventually catch up.  Turns out your patience was right and we caught up to them.  From that teaching alone, you taught me to look ahead and anticipate the future that unwinds.

You taught me to not be scared of cars while crossing through a dangerous highway.  You told me to either go all the way or not go. But I had to make a decision and stick with it

I remember you coming to America and playing in the backyard with me.  I was pulling out leaves and you were doing the same.  We were just making a mess in the backyard and it was fun.  However, unbeknownst to us, both of us developed poison ivy.  I developed a temporary skin rash and you developed a permanent.  No matter what, I felt like that moment linked us together in history forever.

I remember you watching Star Wars Episode 1 with me and hearing one of the pilots saying the word “strong”. And you imitated in the coolest Asian accent.

When I came back to China my sophomore year of High School, I was rude and disrespectful. I am so sorry for that. I wasn’t understanding of your Alzheimer and got mad at the little things.
I made fun of you in a sarcastic way when you got your resignation letter. I saw the emotions in your eyes but I was mean and unsympathetic. I am so sorry for that and that memory of  sadness in your eyes forever haunts me to this day. I love you so much.

I miss you so fucking much and I love you so fucking much.

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